Listening for Direction

di·rec·tion [dɪˈrekʃ(ə)n] noun : 

     1.  the general development or progress of    

          something or someone

     2.  the feeling of having a definite purpose

     3.  instructions for doing something or getting 

          to a place

I have often commented that I wish I had five lives to live. There are just so many things I want to do! But how do any of us decide which way to go? I am so aware that I will never be able to do everything, but by choosing a path means I am saying no to something else. And, I really HATE to miss out on anything! If I think too hard on such things, it paralyzes me, and I run the risk of doing nothing at all.

Often when looking for direction, we are searching for practical answers or solutions or answers to concrete situations.  I am right there. I know that change is in the air for me and that I will be looking for some concrete answers in the coming months. But for right now, I think seeking direction is mostly about paying close attention…by listening to what is inside me and honoring what I believe to be true.

Listening isn’t always easy. We become accustomed to the noise and easily tune out things that are practically yelling at us. I live right in the middle of the fourth largest city in the country…and I loooove it. I especially enjoy the sounds. There is just something about the noise of the city that is comforting; the train that whistles every morning at 4am and the church bells that chime twice a day. Unfortunately, I have heard these things for several years now and barely notice them. It is rare that the train wakes me anymore or that the bells charm me. I have simply stopped listening. Usually it takes a visitor who comments on them to bring me back to the reality of their presence in my life.

In 2011, I want to listen closer…to God in me; to the wisdom that has been deposited there and in those around me. I want to feel deeper…by being fully present in the moments of my life and feeling it all. I don’t want to stuff what is really going on inside of me. I have spent a great deal of time in the last few years questioning and searching and want to have the courage to express all that I believe to be true.

And finally, I want to love more…and better, which may be the biggest challenge of all. To truly know how others need to be loved, (not just how I want them to treat me or how I want to feel), requires the greatest ability to listen, watch and pay attention.

My favorite sound in the neighborhood is the guy a few doors down who plays the sax. On random evenings, he will sit on his front porch and wail some wonderful jazz. The boy is good. I have never met this man, but every time I hear a note, I swing my door open and have a little listen. This coming year, I hope to respond to the important voices in my life the way I respond when I hear this man begin to blow...always noticing, always paying attention and always glad I did.